G'day Mates.

This is the first offical post from Aussie soil.

I finally made it. After some long ass flights, stupid layovers and a little time traveling I am in Sydney.

Total trip time : 33 hours.
Days that disappeared due to time traveling : 1 (Mon. June 27th )

I got in yesterday around 9. Came to Bilal's place and we went out and about. I bought a cell from Vodafone and we toured the streets for a bit.
I was way too tired to go out last night so I just stayed in and napped while Bilal went to class.

I did discover 2 great things, the Kebab place downstairs and the beauty of being freed from the watchfull eye of the FCC.

Holy moly, I watched Big Brother on TV last night as I was dozing off. (it was either that, cricket or Wimbeldon) So as I was watching it I kept hearing F bombs being dropped every 3 secs, then it happened. There was a hot tub scene with topless women and shortless men. Wow. Uncencored reality TV. I am going to love this place.

All for now. More as it unfolds.

Hip to be Square.

As you all ( all= 3 ) know I am leaving the beloved District of Columbia next week to pursue the path of higher education. In my 2 years of residence in the city, I lived in 2 predominantly hipster/indie rock/ coffee with laptops neighborhoods. I have experienced a lot of the events that most normal 20 something young professionals part take in. However, I have never sat in a trendy coffee shop and worked on my laptop and drank a latte.

So today, my first day of unemployment from the evil law firm, I decided to do just that.
I went to Tryst today, laptop bag slung across my good shoulder. I wore an ironic t-shirt ( of course ) to make myself more believable. I got a good seat by the front windows. I pulled out my laptop and powered up. The next crucial step was to find the right music to play while sitting in this new, yet intriguing, atmosphere. I went to my usual choices, but then I strayed over to something that I like but don't listen to on heavy rotation. This choice was perfect, it blended in amazingly with the DC hipster/indie rock/ coffee with laptops scene -- Ted Leo. Next I went to order a caffeinated beverage, hopefully I would get it in an oversized mug a la Alice in Wonderland. The hot, inked up waitress asks for my order and I ask for a Chai Latte. I don’t drink coffee so that’s what I had to settle for since I needed to get something with Latte in it to fulfill the experience. So then I pulled up some work that I had to finish up. I start working, and it was completely impossible to get anything done. I kept looking at people and wondering what the hell are they reading, working on, or staring at? There was an older gentleman there across the couch from me who was “reading” the Financial Times. In actuality he wasn’t reading at all, he was using that to stare at a group of hot Catholic Law students studying for the bar. That led me to wonder why the fuck anyone would choose such a loud, social setting to study for the bar? So I kept trying to work, but that didn’t really happen because an acquaintance of mine walked in after seeing me from the sidewalk. “Anand ? What the fuck are you doing in here? Are you working?” I proceeded to tell him the reason why I was there. He didn’t buy it, and he kept insisting that I go with him to get wasted in honor of not having a job anymore. After a few back and forth denials he said peace and left.

Now, it was time to get to work. As soon as I began working, the waitress came over with the Chai Latte and plopped down next to me. "How do you know him", I told her I met him through some of my drunken adventures in Adams Morgan. Then she went on to say how he was a scumbag and he screwed her roommate over…blah, blah, blah. To which I responded, “no way, he doesn’t seem like a guy that would do that” but that was a blatant lie and I couldn’t keep a straight face saying that. One thing leads to another and this girl was asking me my whole story and I told her the reason why I was in there. She thought that it was hilarious and clever and said she couldn’t wait to read about it. I scrawled the URL to this blog on a napkin and she wished me “Good Luck with my assignment.” (Score-new hot, inked up, indie rock reader)

All right, now the headphones are back on and the music has been turned up and now I will finish up what I need to do and sip on my large Alice in Wonderland mug filled with Chai Latte. I worked hard for a good 15 minutes before I decided to take a “scone” break. I went and purchased a scone and returned to my seat, then I worked for another 20 mins and decided to leave

So, in conclusion, I went to a trendy coffee shop wearing an ironic t-shirt, worked on my laptop while sipping a Latte. The criteria were met and I introduced my blog to a new reader. Not bad, I guess I can understand the reason why people go to coffee shops to do work on their laptops but I still think it’s stupid (Other than the free Wi-Fi connections). I was there for a good 90 minutes and only worked for 35 minutes. Oh well, at least I can say that I have done everything that a predominantly hipster/indie rock/ coffee with laptops neighborhood requires (except cocaine or heroine) Word.

He's Back Bitches !

I just witnessed what might be Dave Chapelle's first TV appearance since his MIA reports from the set of his amazing sketch comedy show. He was a surprise guest on the replay of Friday's season premiere of Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam. He came out last to a standing ovation. Then he proceeded to yell in his famous high bitch Chapelle voice... " It's too much pressure, too much pressure. Stop clapping I can't take it. " Then he went on to say he couldn't say no to coming on the show because it's scary as hell talking to and saying no to Russell Simmons.

After his opening statements he went on to recite 2 poems. The first poem was called "Fuck Ashton Kutcher" and the second was "How I Got the lead on Jeopardy". They were both brief but very funny and entertaining. It is probably too early to find the transcripts of the appearance on the Internets, but I am sure it will be on some entertainment website soon.
(Update: Just found a post about the appearance from June 9th )

Glad I was channel surfing and stopped on the show.

Word, glad to see you back in swing Dave.

Fade into Bolivia....

Saturday night my friends and I all got together and purchased the PPV Tyson v. McBride fight. It was great, just like every time when Tyson fights I was so happy. We were bbq'ing and drinking and singing merry songs. The undercards started and I was still excited, the fight started and they showed Ali and Tyson in the locker room and I sat closer to the edge of my seat. Then it was time ! First Scotty McDumperson came out with bagpipes playing and a leprechaun on his shoulder. Then Tyson came out in a t-shirt with no music....at that moment I knew something wasn't right. The fight begins and both fighters were dragging ass by the 2 round. An awful fight, and the frustrated ear-biting Tyson was back. First he tried to break Scotty McDumperson's left arm by tying it up and driving his elbow through his forearm. When he was called on that he gave him a solid head butt to open up a nice blood-gushing cut over the Clones Colossus' eye. The fight kept getting sloppier as did Tyson. Finally in the 6 McDumperson barreled over Tyson who fell on his ass and sat there asking the Ref for a hand ? What ! You can't ask the ref to help you get up in boxing match ! After that Tyson never answered the bell for the next round and his corner threw in the towel.

It was very hurtful to see Iron Mike quit. But then it happened. In the post fight interview Tyson said that he only did it to pay his bills and that he doesn't have it in him. My heart cried tears of blood ! A little piece of me died at that moment.

So what's next for Iron Mike ? The WWE ? Maybe he will go to Japan and join Sapp ? the Circus ? Who knows. I am going to try my hardest to erase his post-fight comments from my mind and he will always have a place in my heart as Iron Mike Tyson, the children eater, the only man who can Fuck people till they love him and the man who can knock Little Mac out with one punch. Even though you hurt me Mike, I still love you.

17 Syllables !

It has finally happened. RockstarJoe has given birth to my conceptual blog-child.

Behold.... The Haiku Review.

He is the perfect man to rear this beautifal literary project.

Brief, poetic and accurate reviews of music.

Watchout blogosphere...

Mellow Yellow

FINALLY !



Reported by Entertainment Weekly today...

''Simpsons'' movie goes into production. Expect it in about two years, says Nancy Cartwright by Gary Susman

Looks like the wait for a Simpsons movie just got a lot shorter. The show's creators had long said that a movie was unlikely before the show went off the air, but with the series still going strong as it heads into its 17th (!) season this fall, that seemed a long way off. But Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart, recently told the BBC's Radio 1 that the movie has already gone into production. ''We've just done the table read for the Simpsons movie,'' she said, ''so although we've been promoting that we're going to do it, now we're actually doing it and are in production.'' She added, ''I'm sure it won't take any less than a couple of years.''

Cartwright, who was in London to perform her one-woman show, My Life as a Ten Year Old Boy, didn't divulge the movie's title or plot. ''I don't know the name of it and I can't go into details about it and we'll just have to see how it goes,'' she said, ''but I think it's going to be great and the fans are going to dig it.''

Guest Post : Brown Guy Manifesto --- a letter.

This post is written by K-Dizzle, founder and CEO of Dumpolex and 1/2 of the Brown Guy Express. Enjoy. - S.G
_________________________________________________________________

Brown guy manifesto—a letter

Dear non-brown guys,

Hello. I’m one half (or 20% of the total mass) of the 3 time bingo hall tag team champions of the world, the Brown Guy Express. From 1987-1994 we were rated by Zagats “Guide to Super Wrestling” to be the highest ranking brown guy tag team that wrestled in bingo halls in the DC metro area. Sadly our reign of gallivanting and tomfoolery came to an abrupt halt after losing a “hell in a cell/loser leaves their turban match” to 4 time bingo hall champions “The Curry Connection.” Although we have gone our separate ways, there are a few myths about brown guys we would like to “debunk”:

Myth: All Brown guys are the same—they are all small, furry, and from India.
Debunked: Not true! There are many kinds of brown guys, For example, there are big brown guys who do deadlifts and tear their pecs, and little brown guys who hang hams and set stuff on fire. Brown guys are from Nepal, Sri Lanka, Bangledesh, South America, the Internet, and many other wonderous places that you don’t care about.

Myth: Brown guys are brown b/c their dirty
Debunked: Not True! Brown guys are brown b/c of pigmentation. The color of skin is mainly due to the amount of brown melanin pigment mixed with blue (from reduced haemoglobin), red (from oxyhaemoglobin) and yellow (from carotenoids in the diet). Please do not try to rub or throw soap at us b/c we will get angry and set you on fire w/ the magic hidden in as many places as Vishnu has arms.

Myth: Brown guy names are hard to pronounce
Debunked: Not true! Although there is the occasionally lethal “silent h,” most Brown Guy names can be pronounced relatively easily using phonetics.
Seriously, with all of the Liebowitz’s and Chzekulpowsklys’ out there getting their names pronounced correctly,the name “Singh” should be a breeze.

Myth: Everything we eat is made of curry and we smell like curry and curry.
Debunked: Not true! When we are eating Doritos, they are not special brown guy Doritos w/ special curry flavor, nor are dollar menu double cheeseburgers given a special curry seasoning…come to think about it though, sometimes I do need a special something from McDonalds that has a blend of Italian tomato curry sauce tempered with thyme

Myth: Our parents speak w/ funny accents.
Debunked: ...well, this is true.
We hope this has cleared up any confusion.

Thank you,

The Brown-Guy Express

OB 1 Kun OB

Last night I went and saw StarWars Ep. III: Revenge of the Sith. The special effects and the background graphics were REDONKULOUS. The opening scene made my nose bleed. However, like all the other Lucas films, the dialogue was absolutely horrendous ! I shuttered anytime there was more than 2 lines of consecutive dialogue. But fortunately there was minimal speaking scenes and the entire movie was action/graphics/special effects driven.

Before I went to the movie, I read several rumors on the internets that said there were a lot jabs taken at the Bush administration. It did seem that there were several scenes and lines that could be associated with our fearless, cowboy, action driven leader and his band of freedom fighters. However, the movie was written during the Nixon administration at a time when the US was at war with Vietnam. So I think it is coincidental that even though the movie refers to the anti-war atmosphere of that administration, it fits with the current anti-war situation.

But I went in to be wowed by the graphics and the action scenes, not to see a political statment made by Lucas. Honestly, I was just happy to not be sitting between a storm trooper and a wookie while I watched the movie.