End of an Era.

Me, Beer, and meat !

Life is good. Summer is in full bloom and I am still jobless and on break from school. Wheich means all I do is BBQ and drink.

Went up north last weekend and had a weekend with nature. Learn more about that here.

Martin causing havoc on the dance floor

My Swiss flatmate Martin "the Cheese" Bueler has left 27 Ridge St. It was a sad day. He is spending the next 2 months driving down the east coast of OZ and then heading home to Swiss-land. I will be visiting him there in 2007, so if you wanna roll to Swiss-Land hit me up.

Caroline, my other flatmate, has left for the next three months to intern for the UN in Singapore. She's over there fighting the good fight. She is subletting her room until her return next year. However, I have a strong feeling she will move in with her boyfriend when she returns.

Also, all the Canadian friends I had made when I met Nadine are all gone now. She is the last one left in Sydney. You can keep up with their adventures here and here.

So it's been a good 6 months, I made tons of friends and plan on seeing them all through out my travels.

The new era will begin this Tuesday when Ass-man gets here. He will be here for about a month, and Short-Dog will be joining us around New Years time. So let the good times keep rolling.

Sorry for the lack of pics, my laptop decided it doesn't want to read my camera's SD card. But it will be fixed soon.

***RIP to Richard Pryor***


Good Music in 2005

Ryan Adams was a busy beaver this year... making my list twice

Alright boys and girls. Here it is... a list of all the music I loved this year.

Like SR over at Redonkulous Links, I have a top 15 along with some misc categories I thought were quite important.

Like to hear it... well, here it goes.

Top 15 of 2005

1. Common – BE
2. Ryan Adams – Jacksonville Nights
3. Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
4. Beck – Guero
5. M.I.A. – Arular
6. Devendra Banhart – Cripple Crow
7. Kanye West – Late Registration
8. Foo Fighters – In Your Honor
9. Ryan Adams – Jacksonville Nights
10. Gorillaz - Demon Days
11. Death Cab for Cutie – Plans
12. Sufjan Stevens – Illinois
13. Jack Johnson – In Between Dreams
14. Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
15. Cage – Hell’s Winter

----Misc. Categories----

Most Played Track of the Year:

Evil - Interpol off the Antics album
( I know it's from 2004 but the playcount on this song was so high I had to mention it )

Best Hip-Hop Diss Song:

Jadakiss / Fat Joe - Checkmate VSL ( Fuck 50 Cent Campaign )

Most Anticipated Album That Wasn't Released:

Jenny Lewis – Rabbit Fur Coat
(Solo project from Rilo Kiley's lead singer also child star of the movie The Wizard)

Most Anticipated Album Just Announced:

Nas and DJ Premier collabo project.

New Album I Didn’t Get Around to Playing Enough to Add to the List:

Franz Ferdinand – You Could Have it So Much Better

Best New Music I was introduced to while in OZ:

Old Man River

George Byrne

Grand Fatal

Minus the Bear (From Seattle)

There it is kids.

PS. RSJ get yours up.


My First Sensai

Yesterday the world lost a great icon who impacted so many lives across the globe, Pat "Mr. Miyagi" Morita.

Mr. Miyagi was the reason I wanted to take up martial arts, eventhough I never did. Mr. Miyagi taught me that discipline and honor are a key part of life. They are also useful to have when waxing a car, painting a fence, playing a monkey drum, nurturing a bonsai tree and catching flies with chop sticks.

Also, Mr. Miyagi showed the world that a creepy,old Asian man can befriend a strapping, teenage lad without there being (much) sexual tension. Later he went on to prove to us that the same is true with blossoming, teenage girl who he trained with the same respect that he would a male.

Tonight I will feast and drink in your honor... and I hope you get a nice place in that giant dojo in the sky. You will truly be missed.


Musical orgy

Apparently Wilco, The Shins, The Walkmen and Polyphonic Spree got together had a few drinks and gave birth to Old Man River. I wish somebody had told me earlier so I could have watched.

Anyway, I saw this guy last night at the Houpetoun and it was awesome. At first it's him just strumming his gee-taur on stage for a few songs. Then he invites one of the guys that opened for him, George Byrnes, and they belt out some sick songs. Finally, he calls over his drummer and bassist and things took off. These guys fucking rocked ! I think at one point people from the audience were coming up on stage and strapping on guitars. Craziness. You guys shoud check him out.


Soundtrack to War

Today I visited the Museum of Contemporary Art. The current exhibit at the MCA is Interesting Times, which focuses on contemporary artists from OZ. I enjoyed most of the pieces and installations at the gallery, but one really stood out. It was a movie by George Gittoes, an Australian artist, called Soundtrack To War. The movie documents music and war. Gittoes interviews various US soldiers in Iraq asking them what music they listen to during war. Wether driving in the tanks, getting ready to leave for a mission, or just to get by in the hellish situation they are in. Some of the clips even show the soldiers performing there own music in the form of rapping, strumming gore metal riffs, or singing patriotic Toby Keith-esque country songs. It really shows how young and silly most the troops "protecting" our liberties really are.

You should check it out.


Drunk Dials

I made SOOOO many drunk dials last night. If you got a drunken, slurred message... I apologize. If you didn't, email me your cell phone number and I will.

PS. I drank for 16 hours straight yesterday!

and now... this.


Lovefest 2005

So as of last Firday my first semester of the Masters program is over. I am 1/3 of the way there. Also, I am on summer vacation until February ! School is like constantly hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. It hurts like hell when your doing it, but it feels so damn good when it stops.

To celebrate, a bunch of us attended the Lovefest in Newtown on Sunday. It was a huge outdoor music festival with 4 stages and tons of booths. I got there around 3 and was compeletley hungover but downed a 40 and was right back in it. From there we went to the Towny to grab a few brews. We ended the night at a party in Newtown where I met lots of interesting people.

Let me tell you a little about Newtown. Newtown is a very artsy, hippie, I'm too cool for school type fo area. There is an ongoing battle between Newtown and Surry Hills ( my neighborhood) over which part is cooler to live in. Obviously I think its Surry Hills, not just because I live there, because it is more central to the city, my school, and has a pretty solid nighlife and art scene. Anyways, the only real difference that stood out to me was the abundance of 20 something, white males, with dreadlocks. Geeez. We get it, white people can have dreads too.


Harlan McCraney

Being over here in the OZ, I don't get to watch the brilliantly amazing Comedy Central anymore. However, I do surf the internets... a lot !

I just came across a Comedy Central movie called "Harlan McRaney, Presidential Speechalist"

I only saw a bit of it but it looks HIGH-larious. Check it out here, and let me know if it has or hasn't already aired on Comedy Central. If anyone has the whole thing let me know so I can grab it from you.

(Source: Fabrica.it )


Hot in heeerrrre

It's Halloween and it's hot as monkey balls here. Being a big, hairy, dumpy guy is not cool (no pun intended) when a majority of the ozone layer has depelted in the country you live in. The sun is so F*ing hot here. Even though its only about 80-85, it feels like a 100. The other day I saw a guy melt, it was awkward. He was all like " help me" and I was all like "dude, I don't know what to do." I hope I can take the heat a lot better by the time summer gets here.

Also, the heat is breaking out some crazy creatures in the city. The arts campus where I spend most of my time is crawling with gigantic roaches and spiders. I saw a flying roach the other day at least 4" long. I had to get out of its way. And the bats here are crazy too. They are huge and you can hear their wings flapping when they fly around.

Last Friday I hung out with the lead singer of The Used. He was cool guy.**backstory** The girl who used to live in my room before I moved in is best friends with Jade, my roomate. Her and Jade both worked in the music industry. They are always attending shows and press conferences. At one of these press conferences, her and the lead singer of the used met and fell madly in love with eachother. A month later, she moves back to LA with him and they are now engaged. **end backstory** So they are back here touring and she stopped by with him to hang at the house. We all went to dinner and then came back to my place to drink afterwards. About 50 people were there and I didn't know 75% of them. A lot of friends of friends who just came to hang out with a rockstar. All in all it was a crazy night, we drank til about 7-7:30 and a good time was had by all. There was some drama but nothing out of the ordinary.

**sidenote** RSJ: I plugged [velvet] a few times, don't think anything came out of it. Sorry, I tried **end sidenote**

I am pissed I missed the Donkies annual Halloween party. There were some solid costumes this year.



This morninng at 7:30 am I caught an Underpants Gnome in my room. It's trapped under a pint glass. It's half Kangaroo and half Gnome. When I rattled it, it ate the evidence ( my unerpants ).

( I know most people will think that the more unbelievable part of this story will be the time I woke up today.... FU because it's finals week )

More as it breaks.....


Kangaroos are just giant rats.

Holy shit. Where has all the time gone. It's already the middle of October ! I guess time flies when you’re always wasted.

So it’s the end of week 11 at school. 3 weeks until the end of the semester and then 3 months for summer break. Reverse seasons rule. Between school work and boozing I really don’t have time to do anything else. I am applying for permission to work so I can get a job during the break. Probably something silly like fruit picking or brick moving. The pay here is ridiculous, even waiters and cashiers get like $15 AUD per hour.

Here is all that’s happened since the last post.

Finally went and hung out with Kangaroos, Koalas, Taz Devils, and Dingo’s that eat babies. It was crazy we walked into this large area of the park where the Roos are just hopping along and you can feed them stuff. They come up to you and eat right out of your hands. I tried to violate one of the Roos, but the park staff quickly made me stop that by tasering my testicles.

Also, the Dingo’s do eat babies. I saw one eat a baby and the baby looked at me.

Here are the pics

Went to the Aquarium as well. Saw lots of things that are silly like Duckbill Platypus. Lots of Sharks. It’s like a giant JAWS-type tunnel that goes through the Shark tank and you can see them swimming around you and pooping everywhere. I took some videos and will be posting those up soon. All in all the aquarium was pretty gay, the one in “Balmer” is probably better minus the sharks. But the good thing about the aquarium is that its real close to the Fish Market. SO after looking at all those delicious fish in their tanks, we went and ordered a shit load of them and ate our faces off. Unfortunately they don’t have Crab Bombs in Sydney.


I had Spring Break during the week of my birthday ( Sept 29 ). Very convenient. So while being drunk the entire week, Lunchbox (Bilal) and I decided we needed to suck it up and take a road trip. It is Spring Break after all. So we rented a Toyota Avalon and set forth for Melbourne. I finally got to drive on the Left side of the road and to make it weirder, the steering wheel was on the right side of the car. It took a little adjusting and one incident where I side swiped a truck. But other than that… it was fine.

We left Sydney around 4 pm on Friday and arrived in Melbourne at 9:30 am Monday morning. The reason why it took so long is because I thought we should take the scenic route along the SE coast of Australia. I didn’t realize the that the scenic route would take double the time and we would be in backwood roads and towns with no gas station for hundreds of miles. Around 2 in the morning we started running out of gas and we couldn’t find a fucking gas station… oh sorry…. I mean petrol station. So we asked this hick in the town of Eden what we should do. He said that we should drive back to the previous town and use their 24 hour gas pump that has a credit card enabled pump. He said that with such pride and amazement. “ Mate, you stick you plastic card in it and it give you gas” Silly hicks.

So between Lunchbox and me we drove 16 hours straight through the night. Nadine and her roommate Ros were also on the trip, but they are Canadians and girls so we didn’t let them drive. At one point Lunchbox had to pull a swerve move to avoid hitting a Ewok looking Wombat that jumped out in fromt of the car. Good times.

Melbourne itself was a ok city. We were so tired the first day we didn’t do much. Got a hotel, had some food, took a nap and then started boozing. We also met up with my roommate Jade and her boyfriend Brett. ( Side Note: Brett and Jade were on day 6 of their roadtrip. They had been driving around the southern coast in Bretts van. Sleeping in it and living out of it. So I gladly offered them my shower) We went to a real shady bar for a few beers and then we all crashed. The Next day Jade and Brett headed out for the next town on their trip and we hung out down by the Yarra river in southern Melbourne. Ate good food and watched a drunk German guy get beat up by the gaurds in front of the Casino. Went home after a nice dinner and got shitfaced drunk, then came home on Monday. The trip back took us 10 hours because we avoided the scenic route and took the major highway. I also never once during this trip let anyone look at a map or make any prior reservations or booking for anything. Nothing was researched or looked up and the entire trip we “Winged” it. Rule !


Next topic, I got a tattoo done in Sydney. It was a birthday present to myself.

Here it is.

That’s right you guessed it right. The Stoncutters. My ultimate homage to the Simpsons and the genius that is Matt Groening. If you haven’t seen the episode, watch it! Here’s some info on it



So it happened. I finally watched my first NFL game in OZ. I was pretty pissed, and going through withdrawls, after missing opening day and the Skins game. But it I gotta fix on Tuesday morning.

So MNF here is actually Tuesday Morning Football. A 9:00 pm kickoff at home is at 11:00 am in Sydney. I had a class until 12 and afterwards I ran over to meet Dumpy at a bar downtown called Cheers. No Coach, Sam,Woody and the rest the crew were not there. But the place did have a huge TV with the Eagles / Falcons game on. Started boozing immediatley and for the frst time in my life Madden's voice was music to my ears.

There were other Americans there as well, met another Skins fan from Potomac. An Eagles fan who just moved to Sydney the day before with his Aussie wife. Also 3 college kids studying a semester abroad. And a Canuck who is from Vancouver that likes the Dolphins and really impressed me with his knowledge of American football. All in all, I had a blast watching the Eagles lose and I drank steadily at an alarming rate. By 3, the time my evening class started, I was hammer timed and decided to not go to class and keep drinking.

**Note: If you guys ever go to Cheers in Sydney and order a hamburger, please specify that you want meat in the hamburger and not just a shit load of vegetables between the buns.

Then I met up with some friends and went to go see Willy Wonka. Good movie however I did fall asleep during the movie and started snoring. Also, I lost Bilal. He was so wasted he was going from theater to theater trying to find Wedding Crashers.

Then we went back to the Canadian apt and I proceeded to drink everything ! Over the past 2 weeks I have accumulated a nice collection of liquor over at the Canadians place. A little Jim, some Rum and Vodka. Yeah I killed my entire collection in one sitting. Gross. Rum / Vodka and cranberry sounds like a great drink after 10 hours of drinking but not so money the next morning.

Tonight I am headed over to Bondi Junction with the Canadians and meeting more canadians at a pregame session at their house. Then we're off to the ...eeehhheemm... get this... The Cock and Bull ! How great is that. When I found out we were going there, I was running around all last night inviting evreryone I saw to the Cock and Balls on Bondi. I know, I am 10.

Will update with pics from a long night at the Cock and Balls.


Best... Song... Ever...

Best song ever to listen to while creating games in Flash MX for class.

Title: Debra
Artist: Beck
Album: Midnte Vultures

I'm quite positive that everyone who reads this jounx already has it and loves it but justin case... sample.


BushWalk - Beach BBQ - Booze - Bars

Last Thursday I met 2 really cool Canadian girls while eating at a Chinese joint by my house. I know.. I know... cool Canadians is an oxymoron. But they are cool. They thought I was Canadian and asked me, upon me saying no they gave a huge sigh and went on with their business. While I was leaving I sparked up conversation with them in hopes to prove that not all Americans are as bad as they think. After a few minutes of conversation I invited them to my local watering hole across the street from my place ( Bar Cleveland ) for drinks. They seemed hesitant so I said that if they want to join us they can, if not no worries. So Bilal and I went to Bar Cleveland and 15 mins later they showed up. Fun times were had by all as we talked over chilled beer. Then one of them invited me to a Bush Walk with her and 12 other Canadians, so I agreed.

Saturday morning I get up at 8:30 to go meet them for the Bush Walk. Meanwhile I had only gone to bed a few hours earlier after a long night of binge drinking. So in my hungover state I caught a cab down to Hyde Park to meet them. The bush walk was a 4 hour hike around the peninsula of Manly beach that is about 10 km. ( here is a map) It was tough at first because I was hungover and it was raining, but hour 2 of the hike everything cleared up including my headache. Then once we got to Manly we all went to the store and bought booze and BBQ stuff. We grilled and drank on the beach for a while and then took a ferrie ( no homo ) back to the city and went to St. Pat's tavern ( on my recommendation ). I had a great time and made some good new friends.

And now pictures...


My Slow Descent into Alcoholism... Pt. II

So it's Thursday afternoon. I have been studying Actionscripts for my Flash project all day. My head explodes three times in the 4 hours I am crunching code. I finally stop and go get a bite to eat at the student shop where I run into fellow American and Master of Design student Amy. At 4:30 it is suggested that we go get 40 oz's and drink them in the campus courtyard (as shown in these photos) until our 6:00 class. next thing you know it's 5:55 and we're two 40 oz's deep each. I love being a postgraduate student and class went great.


Amy and yours truly brown bagging it.


Pokia... I don't even know ya.

It's hour 5 of me studying at school. So obviously I have been taking breaks on the good old internets to keep me from going crazy.

Just found these new retro phone attachments by London designer Hugler. They are the opposite of hands free dialing. You connect a big ass old school phone receiver to your cell phone. So outlandish that I think it's bad ass !

check it out.


Godfather 3 pieces of shit.

I finally broke down, through a lot of persuasion from my roomates, and watched Godfather 3. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but that's not saying a lot. It was God-awful. stinker 1. Sofia Coppola is the worst actress in the history of the planet, moons and stars. I was actually relieved when she died. Her line delivery was as if she was in a parno flick ! stinker 2. Vincent (Mancini) Corleone becomes the don. Right. stinker 3. Anthony Corleone is a fag. Opera over the family business. stinker 4. When did Connie get so ballsy. She's giving go aheads on hits and poisoning conoli's to kill another Don ? stinker 5. Kay is still the worst person ever ! I hated her in the first 2 and hate her even more in this one for brainwashing Anthony to be a fucking opera singer.

All in all it was bad and didn't even seem like a Godfather movie. The only pluses were the quick glances of Appelonia. Ah, Appelonia... you were a beautiful creature who would have been the perfect wife of a Don. Your sun set way too early !


masters... what the hell.

School is in full swing and it's gonna be pretty damn hectic. I went into this with no worries kinda like it was going to be similar to Undergrad... yeah that's not how it is. Anyway I will try to not to let school cut into my partying and enjoying time.

Here are some pics....
The opera House at dusk.

The Opera house at dusk from a Harbo(u)r Ferrie (No Homo)

Sydney Skyline

Surfers at Manly (No Homo) beach

The Harbo(u)r Bridge

Skyline from Wharf 3.

These are from 2 weeks ago, typical Saturday night at the house. The is the pre-game 1 of 2. I was to wasted to operate a camera during pre-game 2 of 2 which would have made for better pics becasue there were about 8 more people there.

Brett and Caroline in the back. Jade and Silke in the front. Polishing of the "house mate" Vodka before the guests get there.

Jade in the back and Caroline in the front having some sing along fun to "yo mamma" -Pharcyde

Dancing and picture reviewing.

Blue Steels all the way around.

Thats all I have for now. I will take more this week(end) so sorry if these were lame.


Settling in...

Alright guys, it's been a while but things have been crazy over here. But I am now offically settled in. I live in an awesome house in Surry Hills, which has a similar vibe to Adams Morgan. Lots of bars and restautrants, tons of cafes and Art galleries. It is about a 15 minute walk from campus.

A little about the house. I live in a 3 level terrace ( equivalent to a townhouse ). I share it with three other roommates. Here is a brief description of the roomates:
Jade : Is a indie rock/punky party in a box. She works for MTV Australia. She gets us into crazy parties and shows with her MTV hookups.
Caroline: Is a laid back 2nd year law student at Sydney Uni. She works as a desktop publisher and LOVES Vodka.
Silka: Is in Sydney to get work experience as an Interior Designer. She is from Germany and will be returning there in a few months.

The party and bar scene here is getting a lot better thanks to my roommates. They take me to crazy places and I meet a lot of interesting people. Needless to say I have been boozing my ass off. The only problem with being a borderline alcoholic in Sydney is that the beer at a liquor store costs almost as much as a pint at the pub. So pregaming here is not that popular but I have still been doing it because I am a creature of alcoholic habits.

So in month 1 have made friends, got a place with great roommates, enrolled in classes, and have figured this city out pretty well. Now I have to buckle down and focus on classes which start on the 25th. Well, buckle down when I am in class. Which is 3 days a week - Tues to Thurs. And no class starts before 2pm.

Oh yeah, another task I have to look into is figuring out the God awful metric system. WTF ! Meters, Kilometers, Cemtimeters... who gives a shit. I still talk in lbs and miles and people get really annoyed because they have no idea what it means. But I am sure I will figure it out.

Alright all for now... time to go meet some friends at the bar for some good old Wednesday afternoon celebrating. You guys need to get over here and live it up for New Years. I have already warned my roommates that some of you will be staying over for NewYears and they are cool. Lots of floor in the house to pass out on.


Examining the Natives.

I have been in Sydney for exactly 1 week. The natives are very friendly and accepting. But there are several things that I find humorous and interesting as an American in Australia.

1. The fashion here is very Euro-influenced. This means there is not much different in men’s and women’s clothes. The men wear very tight shirts and jeans. Guys wear uber-tight shirts and their collars are always popped. Sunglasses are just short of being skiing goggles.

2. Hairstyles. The dominant hair style for men is the Mull-Hawk (patent pending). This style is a Faux-Mohawk with a trendy little euro mullet patch on the neck. Its silly looking, but very popular.

3. Language. The Australian people as a whole are ver lazy. This laziness carries into their speech. They shorten, abbreviate and use acronyms as much as possible. For example:

breakfast = breaky
sunglasses = sunny’s
university = uni
biscuits/cookies = bicoo’s
poker = pokie
So on and so forth.

4. All men love Kylie Minogue (and similar music) and listen to it openly and proudly.

5. There is no underground/independent music scene in Australia. Mainstream pop rules all.

6. When you order a burger as an American you feel safe in ordering something you will enjoy. However, here all burgers come with beetroot and butter. You have to specify that you don’t want that and then get a funny look.

7. People love American sports apparel. Lot’s of baseball hats, jackets and tshirts (mostly Yankees). However, I did see a guy in a Nationals hat last night at the bus stop. I asked him where he got that hat, he told me from Footlocker because he liked the big “W” on it. Pretty cool.

8. They drive on the wrong side of the road. I still don’t know where to look when crossing the road. Oh yeah, and pedestrians NEVER have the right of way, they will run you over without thinking twice.

9. When a big brown guy comes up to them and speaks in a clear American accent, they get disoriented and take a few minutes to recover from the situation. Then they have to know everything about you and DC.

These things are making life fun and interesting; however I miss little things about home. I guess the thing I miss the most about home is a cold longneck of Miller Lite. See if you guys can ship me over a case.


G'day Mates.

This is the first offical post from Aussie soil.

I finally made it. After some long ass flights, stupid layovers and a little time traveling I am in Sydney.

Total trip time : 33 hours.
Days that disappeared due to time traveling : 1 (Mon. June 27th )

I got in yesterday around 9. Came to Bilal's place and we went out and about. I bought a cell from Vodafone and we toured the streets for a bit.
I was way too tired to go out last night so I just stayed in and napped while Bilal went to class.

I did discover 2 great things, the Kebab place downstairs and the beauty of being freed from the watchfull eye of the FCC.

Holy moly, I watched Big Brother on TV last night as I was dozing off. (it was either that, cricket or Wimbeldon) So as I was watching it I kept hearing F bombs being dropped every 3 secs, then it happened. There was a hot tub scene with topless women and shortless men. Wow. Uncencored reality TV. I am going to love this place.

All for now. More as it unfolds.


Hip to be Square.

As you all ( all= 3 ) know I am leaving the beloved District of Columbia next week to pursue the path of higher education. In my 2 years of residence in the city, I lived in 2 predominantly hipster/indie rock/ coffee with laptops neighborhoods. I have experienced a lot of the events that most normal 20 something young professionals part take in. However, I have never sat in a trendy coffee shop and worked on my laptop and drank a latte.

So today, my first day of unemployment from the evil law firm, I decided to do just that.
I went to Tryst today, laptop bag slung across my good shoulder. I wore an ironic t-shirt ( of course ) to make myself more believable. I got a good seat by the front windows. I pulled out my laptop and powered up. The next crucial step was to find the right music to play while sitting in this new, yet intriguing, atmosphere. I went to my usual choices, but then I strayed over to something that I like but don't listen to on heavy rotation. This choice was perfect, it blended in amazingly with the DC hipster/indie rock/ coffee with laptops scene -- Ted Leo. Next I went to order a caffeinated beverage, hopefully I would get it in an oversized mug a la Alice in Wonderland. The hot, inked up waitress asks for my order and I ask for a Chai Latte. I don’t drink coffee so that’s what I had to settle for since I needed to get something with Latte in it to fulfill the experience. So then I pulled up some work that I had to finish up. I start working, and it was completely impossible to get anything done. I kept looking at people and wondering what the hell are they reading, working on, or staring at? There was an older gentleman there across the couch from me who was “reading” the Financial Times. In actuality he wasn’t reading at all, he was using that to stare at a group of hot Catholic Law students studying for the bar. That led me to wonder why the fuck anyone would choose such a loud, social setting to study for the bar? So I kept trying to work, but that didn’t really happen because an acquaintance of mine walked in after seeing me from the sidewalk. “Anand ? What the fuck are you doing in here? Are you working?” I proceeded to tell him the reason why I was there. He didn’t buy it, and he kept insisting that I go with him to get wasted in honor of not having a job anymore. After a few back and forth denials he said peace and left.

Now, it was time to get to work. As soon as I began working, the waitress came over with the Chai Latte and plopped down next to me. "How do you know him", I told her I met him through some of my drunken adventures in Adams Morgan. Then she went on to say how he was a scumbag and he screwed her roommate over…blah, blah, blah. To which I responded, “no way, he doesn’t seem like a guy that would do that” but that was a blatant lie and I couldn’t keep a straight face saying that. One thing leads to another and this girl was asking me my whole story and I told her the reason why I was in there. She thought that it was hilarious and clever and said she couldn’t wait to read about it. I scrawled the URL to this blog on a napkin and she wished me “Good Luck with my assignment.” (Score-new hot, inked up, indie rock reader)

All right, now the headphones are back on and the music has been turned up and now I will finish up what I need to do and sip on my large Alice in Wonderland mug filled with Chai Latte. I worked hard for a good 15 minutes before I decided to take a “scone” break. I went and purchased a scone and returned to my seat, then I worked for another 20 mins and decided to leave

So, in conclusion, I went to a trendy coffee shop wearing an ironic t-shirt, worked on my laptop while sipping a Latte. The criteria were met and I introduced my blog to a new reader. Not bad, I guess I can understand the reason why people go to coffee shops to do work on their laptops but I still think it’s stupid (Other than the free Wi-Fi connections). I was there for a good 90 minutes and only worked for 35 minutes. Oh well, at least I can say that I have done everything that a predominantly hipster/indie rock/ coffee with laptops neighborhood requires (except cocaine or heroine) Word.


He's Back Bitches !

I just witnessed what might be Dave Chapelle's first TV appearance since his MIA reports from the set of his amazing sketch comedy show. He was a surprise guest on the replay of Friday's season premiere of Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam. He came out last to a standing ovation. Then he proceeded to yell in his famous high bitch Chapelle voice... " It's too much pressure, too much pressure. Stop clapping I can't take it. " Then he went on to say he couldn't say no to coming on the show because it's scary as hell talking to and saying no to Russell Simmons.

After his opening statements he went on to recite 2 poems. The first poem was called "Fuck Ashton Kutcher" and the second was "How I Got the lead on Jeopardy". They were both brief but very funny and entertaining. It is probably too early to find the transcripts of the appearance on the Internets, but I am sure it will be on some entertainment website soon.
(Update: Just found a post about the appearance from June 9th )

Glad I was channel surfing and stopped on the show.

Word, glad to see you back in swing Dave.


Fade into Bolivia....

Saturday night my friends and I all got together and purchased the PPV Tyson v. McBride fight. It was great, just like every time when Tyson fights I was so happy. We were bbq'ing and drinking and singing merry songs. The undercards started and I was still excited, the fight started and they showed Ali and Tyson in the locker room and I sat closer to the edge of my seat. Then it was time ! First Scotty McDumperson came out with bagpipes playing and a leprechaun on his shoulder. Then Tyson came out in a t-shirt with no music....at that moment I knew something wasn't right. The fight begins and both fighters were dragging ass by the 2 round. An awful fight, and the frustrated ear-biting Tyson was back. First he tried to break Scotty McDumperson's left arm by tying it up and driving his elbow through his forearm. When he was called on that he gave him a solid head butt to open up a nice blood-gushing cut over the Clones Colossus' eye. The fight kept getting sloppier as did Tyson. Finally in the 6 McDumperson barreled over Tyson who fell on his ass and sat there asking the Ref for a hand ? What ! You can't ask the ref to help you get up in boxing match ! After that Tyson never answered the bell for the next round and his corner threw in the towel.

It was very hurtful to see Iron Mike quit. But then it happened. In the post fight interview Tyson said that he only did it to pay his bills and that he doesn't have it in him. My heart cried tears of blood ! A little piece of me died at that moment.

So what's next for Iron Mike ? The WWE ? Maybe he will go to Japan and join Sapp ? the Circus ? Who knows. I am going to try my hardest to erase his post-fight comments from my mind and he will always have a place in my heart as Iron Mike Tyson, the children eater, the only man who can Fuck people till they love him and the man who can knock Little Mac out with one punch. Even though you hurt me Mike, I still love you.


17 Syllables !

It has finally happened. RockstarJoe has given birth to my conceptual blog-child.

Behold.... The Haiku Review.

He is the perfect man to rear this beautifal literary project.

Brief, poetic and accurate reviews of music.

Watchout blogosphere...


Mellow Yellow


Reported by Entertainment Weekly today...

''Simpsons'' movie goes into production. Expect it in about two years, says Nancy Cartwright by Gary Susman

Looks like the wait for a Simpsons movie just got a lot shorter. The show's creators had long said that a movie was unlikely before the show went off the air, but with the series still going strong as it heads into its 17th (!) season this fall, that seemed a long way off. But Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart, recently told the BBC's Radio 1 that the movie has already gone into production. ''We've just done the table read for the Simpsons movie,'' she said, ''so although we've been promoting that we're going to do it, now we're actually doing it and are in production.'' She added, ''I'm sure it won't take any less than a couple of years.''

Cartwright, who was in London to perform her one-woman show, My Life as a Ten Year Old Boy, didn't divulge the movie's title or plot. ''I don't know the name of it and I can't go into details about it and we'll just have to see how it goes,'' she said, ''but I think it's going to be great and the fans are going to dig it.''


Guest Post : Brown Guy Manifesto --- a letter.

This post is written by K-Dizzle, founder and CEO of Dumpolex and 1/2 of the Brown Guy Express. Enjoy. - S.G

Brown guy manifesto—a letter

Dear non-brown guys,

Hello. I’m one half (or 20% of the total mass) of the 3 time bingo hall tag team champions of the world, the Brown Guy Express. From 1987-1994 we were rated by Zagats “Guide to Super Wrestling” to be the highest ranking brown guy tag team that wrestled in bingo halls in the DC metro area. Sadly our reign of gallivanting and tomfoolery came to an abrupt halt after losing a “hell in a cell/loser leaves their turban match” to 4 time bingo hall champions “The Curry Connection.” Although we have gone our separate ways, there are a few myths about brown guys we would like to “debunk”:

Myth: All Brown guys are the same—they are all small, furry, and from India.
Debunked: Not true! There are many kinds of brown guys, For example, there are big brown guys who do deadlifts and tear their pecs, and little brown guys who hang hams and set stuff on fire. Brown guys are from Nepal, Sri Lanka, Bangledesh, South America, the Internet, and many other wonderous places that you don’t care about.

Myth: Brown guys are brown b/c their dirty
Debunked: Not True! Brown guys are brown b/c of pigmentation. The color of skin is mainly due to the amount of brown melanin pigment mixed with blue (from reduced haemoglobin), red (from oxyhaemoglobin) and yellow (from carotenoids in the diet). Please do not try to rub or throw soap at us b/c we will get angry and set you on fire w/ the magic hidden in as many places as Vishnu has arms.

Myth: Brown guy names are hard to pronounce
Debunked: Not true! Although there is the occasionally lethal “silent h,” most Brown Guy names can be pronounced relatively easily using phonetics.
Seriously, with all of the Liebowitz’s and Chzekulpowsklys’ out there getting their names pronounced correctly,the name “Singh” should be a breeze.

Myth: Everything we eat is made of curry and we smell like curry and curry.
Debunked: Not true! When we are eating Doritos, they are not special brown guy Doritos w/ special curry flavor, nor are dollar menu double cheeseburgers given a special curry seasoning…come to think about it though, sometimes I do need a special something from McDonalds that has a blend of Italian tomato curry sauce tempered with thyme

Myth: Our parents speak w/ funny accents.
Debunked: ...well, this is true.
We hope this has cleared up any confusion.

Thank you,

The Brown-Guy Express


OB 1 Kun OB

Last night I went and saw StarWars Ep. III: Revenge of the Sith. The special effects and the background graphics were REDONKULOUS. The opening scene made my nose bleed. However, like all the other Lucas films, the dialogue was absolutely horrendous ! I shuttered anytime there was more than 2 lines of consecutive dialogue. But fortunately there was minimal speaking scenes and the entire movie was action/graphics/special effects driven.

Before I went to the movie, I read several rumors on the internets that said there were a lot jabs taken at the Bush administration. It did seem that there were several scenes and lines that could be associated with our fearless, cowboy, action driven leader and his band of freedom fighters. However, the movie was written during the Nixon administration at a time when the US was at war with Vietnam. So I think it is coincidental that even though the movie refers to the anti-war atmosphere of that administration, it fits with the current anti-war situation.

But I went in to be wowed by the graphics and the action scenes, not to see a political statment made by Lucas. Honestly, I was just happy to not be sitting between a storm trooper and a wookie while I watched the movie.


I Heart Adam McKay.

I've had a love affair with the humor and writings of Adam Mckay since his days on Saturday Night Live. Then Anchorman came out and the love was fortified ! This guy might be one of the funniest men I have ever seen.

He just wrote a marvelous article on Huffinton Post that is definitely worth a read.

Also, if you have the Anchorman DVD, check out the commentary feature where you get a good dose of McKay and Ferrell just shooting the shit and being funny as can be.

McKay Interview.


Art making a difference.

Today I went to a fundraising event called "Art for Amnesty" at the Human Rights Center. The main reason I went was to see [velvet] perform an acoustic set. They did a kick ass job. However, I finally got a chance to see Anu Yadav perform. She performed monologues from her one woman play called Caper's. It puts a spotlight on the gentrification issues facing DC's public housing. She only did 2 five minute pieces, but they were impressive ! I need to go see her entire play next time she performs.

Washington Post has a article and video (click on "A Neighborhood Drama"). Check her out.


Three Men and a Badass Song !

Common's new album is set to release tomorrow. He has 2 solid singles out right now, "The Corner" and "Go." I am sure you guys have heard "The Corner", its has a catchy baseline/chorus by Kanye West and the video has the "Panic Room" look to it. I just had the pleasure of seeing the video of "Go" today, and let me tell you, as a designer I was impressed.

The video is directed by Kanye West and uses a lot of different design elements. It has great use of typography and motion graphics. The song/video is about Common's fantasies in the bedroom and the types of women he would like to enjoy. The typography appears with each woman and the motion graphics accompany the women. Along with this, there are random abstract designs placed in the background which really give it the retro/throwback look that Common loves to have in his videos.

Now here's the kicker. The song itself is produced by Kanye West. However, there is a third artist involved in this project. John Mayer is the one who came up with concept for the song, about having Common rap about his fantasies. Also, Mayer lays down guitar in the song along with the chorus. All in all, this song is damn good and the video made me enjoy the song even more ( I forgot to mention all the gorgeous chocolate honey's in the video ).

I've really enjoyed the advance copy of Common's BE album, and I can't wait to get the final version tomorrow when it is out in stores.

To watch the video click here.


Shocks...Pegs....Lucky !

General Motors has branched out into the exciting world of bicycles. The official "Cadillac of Bicycles" is now available at a high-end bike dealer near you. I see a lot of great ad campaigns in the future for Cadillac Bikes. Can you imagine the accessories kids are gonna put on these things. Bikes with spinners, TV's in the handle bars, Fuzzy dice on the front, names emroidered in the seats, and chromed out grillz. I can't wait. Way to get them started early.... kids we know you can't drive our 'Sclades or 'Villes... so ask your parents to throw $2-3k into our badass, baller bikes. Number one in the hood G ( in the 'burbs also ). I just preordered mine, accessories soon to be listed. I can't decide on the font for the embrodery !


2 Wong's make it white.

This morning while I was getting ready for work and suiting up in my business casual attire, I noticed a horrifying thing. My royal blue button-up shirt was covered in mysteriously large oil stains. Since I just pulled this shirt out of the drycleaners bag, I was furious at the dry cleaners. I immediately ran downstairs to the drycleaners and asked them to explain this stain.

Next thing I know, I am being verbally assaulted like an American soldier in Da Nang. She is screaming at the top of her lungs in half English and half Viatnamese.
I keep hearing, "Oyo Stain" and "Alleady Theya" Holy Ho Chi Minh City!
So I asked her again, "Are you saying this stain was already there when I brought it in?"
Her response "No, No.. this oyo stain".
No shit it's an oil stain, but it wasn't there when I brought it in ?!
"Not my faut...not my faut....can't fix"
I say,"Please try to fix it since you guys put the stain there, I understand everyone can have accidents."
She says nothing and hands me a recipt with a $4.55 charge on it.
Now I am furuois. They want me to pay for their mistake. I crumple up the receipt and throw it on the floor. Then I take the damn shirt, roll it up and throw it at her. I yell, "KEEP IT!" and walk out.

Good thing there are 3 other drycleaners right next to that one. Let's just hope they aren't all friends and black list me.


"The Pec" (patent pending)

Music is awesome. It stimulates the mind in so many ways. I need music to sleep. That is how I discover music that I truly enjoy from music that is eh, alright.

Recently I discovered a band called The Go! Team. At first, they seem decent. But I gave their album the sleep test. Now they have a deeper meaning to me and my current life experiences.

While recovering from my Pectoral surgery, one day when I was all hopped up on pain killers I put on The Go! Team while taking a nap. The outcome was amazing. I had a glorious hallucination that was a synergistic effect of a. the music b. the drugs and c. my deep down subconscious need to see myself as a Super Hero.

The basis of the hallucination ( or vision) was that post-surgery I discovered that I now have super human powers in my left pectoral. So now all of the sudden I am "The Pec". During the beginning of the album I am still in the discovery phase of my new special powers. Then tracks 3-4 I am going crazy around town with my new powers and having fun while simultaneous working on a royal blue, onsie to strut around in. Finally, the track Junior Kickstart begins along with my magnificent emergence as "The Pec" in all my glory. Leading into a well put together montage of me fighting crime with my new identity. The later tracks go into, as most super hero's go through, my identity crisis. I can't handle the pressures of the 2 identities and keeping my 2 new worlds separated. Then towards the end of the album I lose my powers and go into a deep depression. Only being happy at the bottom of a bottle in a dark, dirty bar ( not to far fetched from reality). Then I realize that life is short and I must live it to the fullest. I discover that you can't ruin your future by trying to relive the past. Then when Everyone's a VIP to Someone comes on, I am frolicking through a field of marigolds with the wind blowing in my hair as I wrestle with a cute little puppy.

God I love drugs.


23 Skiddoo

So Chief Ike's was absolutely horrible last night. I actually only stayed for 15 minutes. I walk in and try to get a beer but the bartender looks through me every time. I finally yell... " 2 Corona's please" and he shakes his head, mumbles and proceeds to make mixed drinks for other people. At that time, I walked out and had to really restrain myself from jumping across the bar and Hogan leg dropping the bartender. The Chief broke my heart !
So we regrouped at the Mill. A good crew gathered and we were off to the Blue Room. In a nutshell, a little expensive with a twist of pretentiousness but the scene was good. The females were hot, the music was nice. So instead of celebrating cinco de mayo like dirty sanchez I spent most of the night like a light skinneded richie rich. eh, whatayagonnado.

Wizards are playing tonight at 8. Hopefully the fat lady will sing for the Bulls season tonight. Wish the Wiz Kids a lot of luck.


Wait... there is a "NEW" Mexico ?

Alright...alright..alright. It is cinco de mayo. ok, wait... does anybody else think its weird that in Mexico they sell fifths of mayonnaise ?

Going out boozing tonight. Hit up a little place called Chief Ikes Mambo Room... you guys might have heard about it. I am kind of a big deal there. Where else would a 25 year old Indian male go to celebrate the Mexican victory over the French.... at a bar that is named after President Eisenhower as a Native American Chief who owns a room for Latin dances. Not to mention PBR on tap. I would do the normal deal and say, hey guys try to make it out if you can. But guess what, nobody fucking reads this.